Being Myself...

 

One evening sitting alone I thought why I always choose the path which has no destination...when I know that at the end of the journey I will be standing alone looking into the mirror the same face the same failure n the same red eyes throwing out the water which is just meant for dropping on the floor n disappearing with the time.
Then I realised all the reasons of being like that.... The reason of being human... The reason of being hopeful... The reason of being foolish...going every time far in the dark looking for just that small ray of light which I can never hold with my hands...
Am I really that optimistic with myself or it's just my destiny playing with my emotions....
But now I am tired .... Tired of always being part of this game...tired of running behind that fake ray of light....tired of my eyes which always throw out that water which carries no meaning for this world...
Tired of being MYSELF...

Chance or by Choice

Sitting alone thinking, all of a sudden a thought strikes me & I fell into that deep shallowness of voice which people usually calls Dilemma.

Is it what happens with everyone in life & then they start loosing it at one point of time?

May be or rather I should say YES...

Loosing is one of that bitter truth, of which everyone is scared in their life. But is that what life is all about or we humans are getting weaker with time or modernisation?

The answer echoing from my inner self was NO.

It's not about getting weak or modern but it is about thinking & realising why that is happening....

The one which remains happy in this war have their own hollow reasons to satisfy themselves. 

& which falls on the other side either feels broken or start compromising with the situation n everything else.

But we need to realise that this is no more the same air left around us... From the toxicity of which we all are trying to save ourselves by putting the mask of sympathy... Betrayal or whatever word u feel is fit for ur condition.

The time has come to become little sensible from being nonsense for so many years of ur life & it is possible by waking up that lost sense of ours....which everyone knows by the name Happiness.

Do not wait for happiness to come ur way... If u do u will never get it.... It is like a cotton coming out of the cotton plant because of the pressure of air; so if u won't hold it....it will fly away thereby ending up falling in somebody's else garden of life.

Choice is urs !!!

Enough...

Today when I woke up in the bed...
My eyes were totally red...
I look into the mirror ... Chasing down the tear....
N lost in the thought ...after all what last night I bought...
Was that a rum or beer ... 
Oh leave it my dear...
I know that my eyes r totally red...
M not that weak...
Just like everyone else... a wisdom I seek...
Yes u think m wrong ...
But m happy that long way I have already gone...
No matter how long that tear will go...
Dont call me back now....
I have made in front of u enough number of bow...
I want a life...
Where no one says that u r my wife.....
Where no one knows my past...
Although m afraid how long it will last...
But yes I wanna try ... I wanna live once more...
As my tears tells me always n sings to me in chore...
M not that deaf...I can hear them now...
Don't force me once again to bow....

Loneliness...

Loneliness is the mirror of the person.
A person peeps inside of itself only when he realises that there is no one looking at him. Though this fact is hard to bear of being alone but it serves to meet with ur inner self ... U will come to know the goods & bad which otherwise mostly told by others to u. The irony is no matter u want or not but u start driven towards taking them true.

Yes of course in its initial phase loneliness brings tears...fears & of course sometimes beers... ;) but that's after what ..when u start living on the edge of life without caring about anything & nothing makes u feel better at that moment... Coz ur mind is able to think clearly without being pressurised by any of the burden or so called responsibility. Instead u start recognising ur responsibilities in a far better way which u may realise that u were ignoring since long.

The another best part I found is that u start recognising ur strengths & overcoming ur weaknesses in a totally different way that too without being dependent on anyone.
So here on the very first day of 2015 Valentine week ... I want to convey this to every single that stop searching nearby on 'wechat'...stop shaking ur phone..u already have given enough pain to ur hand ;) ...n so Stop being sad... U r better than anyone here lad. 
Go n find urself first n when u succeed in doing so ... U will be amazed by the most beautiful gift of life!!

The Eternal Voice...

SSssshhhh….Can you hear that?? Someone is crying…the voice is so grievous…I have to find the source of it…someone is in pain, heartsick…just a sec...HEARTsick???? Ahhh!!! I find it …It is my heart ...my heart is crying …but why?? I need to find out….

Oh my heart! The reason of my life… what happened to you…why are you so much in the dumps…???

Uuhhh! REASON….you are asking me the reason… It’s YOU…you are the reason…it’s all because of you I am suffering today. You made me to think …to fall in love…& then it all started.

I was happy with the feelings of my younger days. When I use to beat & play with the flow of blood inside your veins. But now the things have changed, I am no more the same heart.

You do not care about me anymore…you have given me to someone else…the person who thinks that I still beat for you. This is wrong. I cannot live this dual life anymore. I am dying...I need love… I need care. Please tell her that I beat for her. I have nothing to do with you. You are not mine. Please ..please tell her before I die…

A Silence for few seconds…

I was thinking what to say on these innocent words of my heart. I have no courage to confront that the girl My Heart is talking about is no more the same as we thought. She lives for herself…in her own dreams…in her own world. I have been to that world once but it was full of suffocating attitude & ignorance..the world where Trust is not more than just a word of boasting about oneself with hollowness inside.

I am not denying ‘My heart’ that I am the only culprit of yours…the reason of your suffering...the reason of you sucking the tears more than the blood & hence of the stage of this ending.

The only last thing that I can ask you is to let it go. Yes..I am ready to bear the curse of yours & everybody else with me till the day someone arrives in my life with trueness & love….the day when you & me will no more be separated….the day when I can again feel your beats sound in my ears.

I will wait for that day till my soul mate will come to kiss away my soul from the pain of this world.